Messages to my dear friend, Monica, as we share our experiences of being a mother, the things we learn from our little girls, everyday and the lessons we learn from life itself.
A Blog-dialogue across continents, countries and oceans of time and space...
(We last met in 2000 A.D, in India.)

Monday, December 3, 2012

Lessons in Love from the Children of the World....

Yesterday, I was watching my children as I and my husband Raj went about our tasks like cooking, cleaning, laundry and sorting out the home (it was our day off)  The kids played, then fought and fell-out, I had to intervene when things got out of hand with one of them hitting out at the other, who then said she kicked her back in defence and got the first one to scream uncontrollably (see what I mean!?)...
 Later, after they were in bed and peace prevailed, I was reflecting on them and their nature, my parenting and MY nature...,  That is when it hit me... Shivangi is so much like a mirror; If I am rushed, she feels rushed. If I am calm and joyous, she is the epitome of calm joyousness herself...
As my husband gets her ready with me in to mornings for the last two-three weeks, I can 'see' potential flare-up moments and diffuse them before they spark up and ignite my volatile emotions. Everyday is a learning curve.  Shivangi is a great experience! She and her sister make me aware everyday- of my good fortune. Its like being the most-loved child of God- He chooses us to have these experiences in life and it is up to us to learn from them...
Mon, you know what, I always imagine YOU -doing those special things- the little things, with Raina. Our talks over the blog-world have made me a better person and a better parent than I ever was or could have hoped to be.
One thing I witnessed when I moved to Great Britain is the politeness, the courtesy and kindness we extend to all those we come in contact with. If you make a call, the person on the other side will smile and laugh with you, and make you feel at ease straight away. PLEASE, THANK YOU and you're WELCOME come naturally. Culturally, there are many variations, but amongst my own neighbours, friends and family. I have seen Love, concern and hope at all times.
When our kitchen caught fire in 2008, and none of us was at home, neighbours alerted the fire services and TWO fire Brigades came and rescued our home and pet BLAZE from harm. Tracy, our neighbour homed our goldfish, Mr Hassan brought us cups of tea as we watched, shocked; the remains of our kitchen strewn on the front driveway. Our family was out, and I had been at work when the fateful call came. My Charge Nurse instantly let me go home, and as I cycled down the roads, I was thanking the Lord that my husband and Kids had not been home at the time.
It never crossed my mind to bemoan my fate, and feel sorry for myself. Optimism runs through my veins. It has done so since I was born, to two of the most POSITIVE people in my life- My Father and my Late Mother... Dad and Mummy would always be Fair, Just and Honest- with us and others, and their Fairness rubbed off on us kids big-time. We each had our experiences, our lives converged as children of our parents and diverged from our own roles as parents in our adulthood, but whenever we meet, we can all see and support each other's difficulties and shortcomings and I feel re-invigorated when I talk to my Sister or Brother or my many cousins and relatives. My friends at University, and work in India also keep in touch via the wonder of Facebook!
In INDIA, growing up with my family, and many many loving cousins, aunts, uncles and relatives, friends and neighbours, I recollect that WE smile at babies in India , and can start chatting with a couple of people on the opposite berth of the train, in no time. We would swap stories, anecdotes, share food and soon us kids would be friends. So much so that when it was time for either family to leave the train, it would feel as if we were saying goodbye to lifelong friends. 

A Facebook picture by The Idealist (page link)
Today, on facebook, I came across this picture.... It speaks volumes about OUR WORLD and Our 'I' ness. Selfless LOVE is the only thing that can redeem Mankind. There is not, nor should there EVER be any scope for 'negativity' in our lives. If something is going wrong, I begin to look within myself for the crossing wires which caused the 'short circuit' in the first place. If my wires are untangled, and the lines are open, God will flow through and suffuse me and mine with Love...The children of the Ubuntu signify all that should be celebrated in our humanity- our HUMAN -ness. Being HUMAN first and foremost is the most important thing in the world. 

As John Lennon once said, "When I was 5 years old, my mother told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy' They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life."

How does one begin to pare down years of experience, millions of influences and gigabytes of memories inside of us and re-learn the whole business of being HUMAN!!??

The answer lies in our lives. When we have a newborn child in our midst, all of us, even the cynics and pessimists begin to smile. Their tiny fingers curl around our big ones and in that first touch, we see God in their eyes. When we say a child is beautiful, we are actually seeing the  purest, barest human being there ever is. A child brings love, hope and nurturing to its family. It is the promise of a better world for them that we make, silently, to ourselves as we gaze upon their countenance.... Each child is beautiful. Each person, no matter how they are presenting themselves to you, is beautiful. Look beyond the physical and you will see the same essence, the same purity in all of God's creations.... We just need to open our eyes and look inside us... Somewhat like the Dove Real Beauty Sketches show us...(here)